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Winter Olympics: Ice Skating Pointers

American pair skaters Rena Inoue and John Baldwin made history by landing the first triple axel throw in Olympic history.

Check out the American’s jump on [http://www.usatoday.com/sports/olympics/torino/figureskating/2006-02-11-pairs-skating_x.htm].

Midori Ito in 1989 was the first woman to land a triple axel in a major ice skating championship (Worlds). See http://www.mountaindragon.com/midori/mistats.htm.

So what are triple jumps and what is a triple axel?

“The Axel is a jump in figure skating, named after the Norwegian skater Axel Paulsen (1855-1938) who was the first to perform it in 1882.

“A single Axel consists of 1 1/2 rotations in the air. For a jump with counterclockwise rotation, it has a take-off from the left front outer edge and a landing on the right rear outer edge; this can be reversed for a clockwise jump.

“The Axel can also be done as a double jump with 2 1/2 rotations, or as a triple jump with 3 1/2 rotations.” See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axel_jump.

The article above states, “No skater has yet accomplished a quadruple Axel.”

To read a fun article on figure skating, go to http://www.slate.com/id/2136701/fr/rss/. Even the best skaters take their turn (for the worst) on the ice.

Sasha Cohen is the only skater in the current Winter Olympics who can perform a quadruple jump. She didn’t try last night. She didn’t need it. But she can give it earlier. Keep watching. Read about Sasha at http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/olympics/260243_olyfig21.html.

A number of men have run quads in these Olympics.

Here are some tips for watching the women ice skate at the Winter Olympics (don’t watch the men skate. They make the jumps too easy):

1.Dig those old skates out of that junk box in the garage. Put on. Stumble into the room where you have a TV and drop down. Now don’t you feel better ready?

2. Before putting on your skates, turn the thermostat down to 50 degrees Fahrenheit. To make it more authentic for the Olympics, make it only 10 degrees centigrade. Prepare thick duvets.

3. Ask your spouse to prepare a large pot of hot chocolate. Don’t go tripping alone in the kitchen on these ice skates. You could scald yourself.

4.While your spouse is in the kitchen anyway, ask him (or maybe him) to fry a bunch of scones. A scone is fried bread dough. Just pick up the dough at the grocery store and drop sections of dough into the fat. Cookie dough is good. Scones should be served with butter and honey. (If you have to run to the store to get the honey, for God’s sake, take off the ice skates. You’ll look pretty funny wrapped up in a steering wheel.)

5.While watching ice skating, suck honey from your fingers. Do not try to wash honey with cocoa. You could burn yourself. Well, you can wait for the cocoa to cool down a bit like I do. Then you have a delicious suck to do.

6.Here are some words you will need to watch ice skating competitions:

Ohhhh! Use it when a jump goes wrong and the skater lands on their poduka with a thud. The bigger the noise, the bigger the OHHHHH!

Yeah! Shout this at the top of your lungs when a scatter performs an effortless trivial move.

Wow! Say this when a scatter performs a routine triple jump.

Holy Cow! Shout this when a triple axel is performed and the skater makes a good landing. If the jumper lands on their paduka with a thud, say Holy S–

My wife cut me there.

Now that you know the elements of watching women’s Olympic ice skating, do as Red Green says, “Keep your stick on the ice!”

Oh, Nuts! My wife says that only applies to ice hockey. Well, keep your paduka off the ice!

After some thought, I searched for the word padouka in the Hindu dictionary (see http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Ri_paduka/id/62126). It means revered chief’s sandals.

When I say “land on his paduka”, I’m not talking about sandals.

The end

Ice skating, triple, quadruple, lux, axel, Olympics, Torino, Winter Olympics, paduka, Hindu, Midori Ito, Sasha Cohen

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